Be Aspirational and Book Commercials

 onstage at CS

Telling jokes between dicks.

About ten years ago I liked this guy who was battling cancer. He explained his situation with me and of course I was cool with it, being way happier with a sick guy who was into me than a healthy guy blowing me off. After a month or so he was struggling with his treatment and told me I could do better. I told him he didn’t know my exes, it was the chemo talking, etc. Then he was more direct: He had six months to live and wanted to see other people.  I didn’t want him to leave just yet but I didn’t want to the bitch who nagged him into his grave so I stepped aside.  The good news is he is alive today and totally healthy. (This is what I hear- I don’t keep in touch with my exes.)  He also met an amazing woman and they started a family. He credits her with helping him beat cancer and tapping into his will to live. When I heard that I realized how much I had not been “the one.”

Once I thought I helped a guy quit drinking FOUR LOCO.  It turned out FOUR LOCO had been temporarily banned.  I hear he is now back drinking FOUR LOCO.  I also thought I helped him lose 50 pounds but the credit was more due to a combination of cocaine and the above mentioned aggression drink.  Maybe that  is one of the reasons why I love to do comedy. Last night a girl told me that she had watched me at the Comedy Store and laughed so hard that it had made her shit her pants. It wasn’t a sad story. She was hot and guys would still totally fuck her thru the shit.  I drove home talking myself out of the compliment but by the time I got home, which is 45 minutes, I had accepted the fact  that I had had a lot to do with what happened to her that night.  I am learning to let myself inspire people but I have to start with baby steps.  Thank you for your encouragement.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *