Sally performs twice a week at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles and entertains worldwide for the U.S. troops. She has been seen on MTV, Playboy TV and national commercials. She has extensive hosting experience and performs for corporations including IBM in Las Vegas. Sunday nights, you can check out her GET LIVE! open mic at the Pig N’ Whistle on Hollywood Boulevard. Mondays she is at Comedy Resin on Melrose and catch her midnight sex and comedy talk show Hello, Cougar and her all-female comedy show Girls Drink Free on Dromebox.
Sally has a filthy mind but can work clean.

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Midnight Cougar

I’m impatient waiting to be interviewed about my show Hello Cougar live on every Saturday night at midnight so I’ve interviewed myself.

Q: On your reality sex-talk show show you are a cougar having sex with cubs aged 18 to 30 that you meet off Craig’s List. Do you fear for your safety?

No, as far as the sex goes, we are using condoms and I talk to the guys on the phone, google them, feel good about them. With the internet now there is no reason for a first date with a project like this. I do fear for my safety every time I leave the house though. That’s just reality.

Q: How has the sex been so far?

I have been with about 8 cubs so far and none of it has been bad. I am shooting for 6 months so 24 Cubs total. Someone is gonna be bad and I am sure there will be some more jerky shit, so I am fearful of bad sex and annoyance, yes.

Thank God for open-minded types.

Q: What made you want to do this?

I notice on porn sites there are so many pop ups that say “Would you fuck an older lady…that lived near you.” I wanted to prove that lots of young men would actually drive maybe half an hour or more to experience a cougar, MILF or GILF, hey just a woman, and many want to make it a recurring trip. So far no one has hit me up for gas money!

Q: Tell us about the casting process

I really appreciate the cubs who come on my show so I try to keep it as simple as possible and not get into tons of texts. I have been casting off Craigslist and my post usually gets flagged within 12 hours. It’s not iilegal in any way and I am clear about that. It usually gets flagged after a guy my age tells me I’m missing out, etc but they have to understand that is not the theme of the show. It’s about older women and younger men.

Q: Have you ever had a successful relationship with a younger man?

Unless you call filing joint restraining orders succesful, then no.

We feature up-and-coming female comics (#femcoms) like the lovely Kari Assad.

Q: You have been working with for about a year and a half. Tell us about who helps you put Hello,Cougar together.

Ashley is my director, set designer and safety backup and she get’s the guys’ contact info. She is my friend in real life and I get to talk sex or shit with her all week. I have to remember this is not her only show. Nolan and Louis are cute Jewish brothers who run Drome with her. They are 100% supportive of the show and Nolan is my Andy Warhol. I appreciate him letting muses my age have shows. A lot of mature talent is side stepped in maintstream media. What these guys are doing for comedy in LA is as refreshing as Four Loco and I also produce a Thursday night stand up show there called Girls Drink Free. They are workaholics and compatible with other workaholics. Just leave Louis alone and let him work. I have a Director of Photography on the show who doubles as my Man-Pet but I’m going to keep his name out of the press for now.My dear friends Josh Fong and Dennis Devine have designed and edited the fuck out of the show for me, respectfully.

Q: How is your regular dating life going?

I am trying not to date right now because I am so focused and sexually active as part of the show, plus all I am going to talk about on the show is how fun and weird the show is, and I don’t think a guy wants to hear me talk about the guys I fuck while he buys me drinks. Then again, if that guy is reading this, definitley reach out.

Q: Good luck with the rest of the show

Cool, I have four more months so will wrap right before the holidays.
I am meeting a lot of nice guys and getting to bond with female comics so it’s all very interesting but I will be going home to spend time with my parents for Christmas. They don’t watch the show and we won’t be talking about it. In fact, we’ll barely be talking. I’m proud to be from Florida by way of England and growing up there got me ready for a lot of challenges I have faced such as low grade overdoses and trouble with the law. I can usually talk myself down from a panic attack by looking in the mirror and saying “You’re from Florida. You’ve smoked crack.”


The Dark Side of Children’s Parties

My show on Kitten2cougar with Paris Kennedy wrapped a few weeks ago after over a year of Saturday midnights. She is incredibly busy with projects and if I begged her to keep showing up I’d be a shit friend. We loved doing the show for a year but she is going to be away so much of the Spring and Summer. I, however; will be right here, and have a new show called Hello, Cougar! premiering end of April. Paris and I remain best of friends, Valley-life partners and will be working soon on other silly, funny and naughty bits. It was great doing our talk show with the Drome crew every week, the comedians who guested, and Paris’ dear friend Tony was such a baller hooking us up with fun costumes. It got me thinking of some of my jobs when I was in my 20’s.
When I worked at a children’s theatre in the mall, I often dressed as Snow White and strolled around handimg out flyers. Sometimes I had a prince with me, other times he was too hungover. There was this Bavarian sandwich deli-type place (Maybe I should not use Bavarian and Deli together) called Spritzels that was big in the 80’s and 90’s and I used to go hard on their Swiss cheese sandwiches with pints of Warsteiner. I am not sure if this is what Snow White would eat and I didn’t give a fuck. Disney would have arrested me if they saw me in Spritzels smoking, drinking pints and chatting up non dwarves and the Spritzels Nazis weren’t too cool about it either. They told my boss I was scaring the kids and that I couldn’t come in my costume. I tried to lie my way out of it to the kid’s theatre admin but I was a few pints in and it was my slurred words against theirs. They fired me in my Snow White costume, which they let me keep as it had cigarette burns.
I put it to good use doing kids parties for this older dude who wanted to fuck me and all younger women. His name was Tony Ross and he has to be dead by now so I am not talking shit and I will say he had a heart to back up his pimp vibe. He hooked me up with some costumes like Barbie, the Little Mermaid and April O’Neal, the redheaded reporter with the Ninja Turtles. That was the toughest gig as the turtles were dicks, always late rolling up in some fogged out rape van smoking pot under the huge turtle heads til it turned to crack. I’d already had to stall the party for 40 minutes and they never appreciated April, claiming they could find another white girl and this was pre white guilt. I decided to show Michaelangelo, Donatello and the other dude what side their bread was buttered on.. Oh yeah, sometimes they would bring their dipshit neighbor playing the part of Shredder. He didn’t have the turtle ego but it was guilt by association and he was going to be out of a job, too. Due to my childrne’s theatre contacts, I knew a costumer who made me three new turtle suits for under a grand and I soon had Tony booking me and some straightedge types for the kiddie parties. I was making baller money as April but having the most fun as The Little Mermaid. I loved cruising through Miami beach in a long red wig with shells on my tits and cash flying all over the car. We did a lot of drug dealer family parties and often Ariel could be found in the bathroom with Dad, turns out he liked The Little Mermaid too, and she liked blow. This Ariel didn’t want to be where the people are.
While it’s easy to cross over to the dark side of children’s birthday parties, I have some memories even purer than South Beach cocaine in 1991. A girl of 9 wanted a party in the mall theatre (this was pre Spritzelsgate) and she had her own Alice in Wonderland Costume. That made two of us and together we played Alice’s past and future selves, with her birthday buddies acting out the Cheshire cat, the Red Queen, the Mock non Ninja Turtle, etc while I Morgan Freemaned and she starred. I could tell this was her favorite birthday yet. Her mom called me the next year and begged us to do it again but I was too busy going down the looking glass myself. I have a feeing she remembers her ninth birthday, though. I know I do and I hope that kid grew up and is doing everything she wants. She’d be pleased to know I am.
seen shit

What’s in the Box?


Paris and I would love nothing more than for you to subscribe to our Kitten2Cougar You Tube Channel this year. Do it for my daughter!

As an older woman I am often hit up for romantic advice by younger men, because older women know what we want, and it’s drugs. If you’re getting it on with an older woman, bring a nice bottle of booze, a joint, some pills to blow up, some coke (yeah, I said it -the four letter word) It’s impartial advice that works for most quirks, so feel free to make it your own. Have a small dick? Bring a fat blunt, don’t eat pussy..bring Ketel One. You’re impotent, bring blow – blame it on that. It’s a fair bet to say most cougars party and have made choices that lead us to hooking up with guys half our age so these are solid tips I can give to millennials – anyone old enough to buy booze should and for God sake’s be a real man and get a drug connection. I am so burned out, not on smoking weed, but on dudes hustling me for that special someone, a motherfucking drug dealer. (Note to self: Don’t hook up man up with muscle relaxants and expect good sex) Yeah, I know, folks. I’m from Florida. It’s in my DNA and no one will let me forget it. I am constantly asked where someone can score yayo while they look at my purse. Even though I barely even smoke pot, I was told to get a weed card to “cover my ass” and that was by a cop. Some guy could want to roofie ME and he’d still have to ask “Do you know where I can get some roofies?” I want to make it clear I would never tell a guy where he can get roofies unless I were 100% sure he was only using them on me. I don’t encourage doping people and I’m possessive. But then even when I told him he’d need a ride and probably want to borrow money. I wish this weren’t the case. I wish millennials were good for something other than pulling out. It means so much to me when a guy goes out of his way a little bit and brings something to the table, something you can smoke drink, chop, blow up or chase. I don’t shoot, not judging anyone but that’s a level up, mainlining, though I do include coke in my list of party favors. It has a bad rap because it’s always a story of a guy who lost his job, house and kids but no one ever tells a feel good tale of woman with nothing to lose who enjoyed some cocaine and stood up to her landlord.
This leads me to another resolution. Don’t enable men. Let them find the favors. Although we live in a society that shows men ads with their free porn asking would you fuck an older lady…who lives near you? (God forbid anyone gas up their tank to score vintage poon), and back to the free porn, which we ask guys to rate.. Who the fuck is the asshole giving a thumbs down to free porn? What’s the matter? Wasn’t it free enough? I know XXX sites do this to get the community involved, but if dudes are jerking off they are involved. Lets not make a guy an MVP because he broke his stroke for a second to give a thumbs down. I’m holding out this year. The guy has to be holding. Don’t leave me alone watching the news about some chloroform creeper thinking “At least he brought his own stash.” Some of us can still party like we used to, and I want to with you. Who’s gonna make it rain?

This week you can check me out at Sal’s on Melrose and The Comedy Store on Sunset